Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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