2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
