Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other

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(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

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(407): View more from Florida

He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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(770): View more from Georgia

he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took

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(425): View more from Washington

oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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(912): View more from Georgia

I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her

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(618): View more from Illinois

Holy sore nipples Batman

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(440): View more from Ohio

Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.

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