a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
