I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
