I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
