Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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