Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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