I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
