Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
