the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
His nipple licking is glorious
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