I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
