you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
