You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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