Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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