i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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