You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
