I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
