I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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