the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
