oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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