Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
