RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
