The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
