Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
