he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
