Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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