I cockslap morals
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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