yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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