I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize