I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You pole danced in your parka.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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