singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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