So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
