he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Couch. On fire.
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