I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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