Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize