just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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