Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize