I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
