I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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