:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
