If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
