you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize