so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
