I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
