wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
