Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
