You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
