I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
