I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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