tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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