The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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