Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
two words: eviction party
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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