yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize