I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
false alarm. still invincible.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
