I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
