So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How does it feel to date your dad?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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