every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
